In this episode of Reloscope, host Sarah Stancombe is joined by expert Sheila Kohler to discuss love languages and how cultures and time change how people view their relationship and experience love. Sheila Kohler is the author of eleven novels, three collections of short stories and a memoir. Her work has been translated widely abroad and has been awarded many prizes including the O. Henry twice. She has taught creative writing at Princeton since 2007. She was a fellow at the Lewis B. Cullman Center for Scholars and Writers and a frequent visiting writer at the American Academy of Rome. She is writer in residence at the American Library in 2025. Her novel, “Cracks” has been filmed with Jordan Scott and Ridley Scott as directors and was recently reissued by Open Road. Open Road will republish six of her early novels in 2025. In this episode, Sheila Kohler tells some fascinating stories of her life experiences that illustrate how other people live and love together. Cultures are a big part in how people express love to their friends and family - what is acceptable may different vastly from culture to culture. Sheila Kohler also explains the two different types of love - one where you project what you romantically desire onto someone you barely know, and the other - getting to know someone deeply in a relationship, seeing their perspective on life, and having empathy for them. Together, Sarah and Sheila Kohler discover how people can better communicate during quarrels. Remember that many quarrels occur over trivial things. Do your best to communicate why you are experiencing a strong reaction to something, and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Sheila Kohler suggests roleplaying the quarrel as the other person, together. It will probably make you laugh, and provide an understanding of where the other person is coming from.

In this episode of Reloscope we tackle the topic of jealousy from a psychological standpoint. It is something that everyone probably experiences at some stage in life, but that some people may need to manage more intentionally than others. Expert Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. joins host Sarah Stancombe to discuss everything from triggers to real world examples of couples working through jealousy. Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist, psychoanalyst, and professor, who works with adults, couples, adolescents, and preteens in the San Francisco Bay Area. Extending psychological knowledge to the public has been her endeavor for many years. Her opinion has been sought in hundreds of television, radio, and print media interviews and discussions, and for nearly a decade she hosted a weekly call-in talk show, KidTalk with Dr. Mary, on Radio Disney stations. She is a frequent media commentator, and blogs for Psychology Today and Thrive Global. She is an author and co-author, with six books of her own. In this episode, Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. explains how many emotions are an evolutionary way of our mind protecting itself. She also describes the impact of shame, and how while it can present learning opportunities, it is often responded to in a defensive manner (which of course, is completely normal, and very human). Importantly, Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. explains that jealousy in a relationship is born out of a rupture of interest, and most commonly a devaluation of self felt by one party. Together, Sarah and Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. discuss triggers and whether or not we should communicate them with others. It can be hard to continue a conversation if one party has been triggered by something that has been said. However, by opening the conversation up about the strong feeling that has been activated, progress can be made.

Some are anxious, some are avoidant but in the end, everyone wants to have a secure attachment and a healthy relationship. This week on Reloscope: The Relationships Science Insights Podcast, host Sabrina Oktavelia consults clinical psychologist Phoebe Rogers in understanding attachment styles in romantic relationships. Phoebe Rogers is an experienced Clinical Psychologist with a Master of Psychology (Clinical) from the University of Wollongong and a Graduate Diploma in Relationship Counselling. Specializing in CBT, ACT, and Schema Therapy, they work with individuals, couples, and families to navigate emotional challenges and create healthier relationship dynamics. After seeking a relationship coach for their own struggles, they discovered the transformative impact of Schema Therapy—an approach they now use to help others find love and fulfillment. In this episode, Phoebe Rogers sheds light on the reason behind the prominence of healthy attachment styles in successful relationships. Additionally, she delves into the effect of upbringing, dysregulated nervous systems and internal thoughts in the development of insecure attachment and the ways to unlearn those insecure attachments. Together, Sabrina and Phoebe Rogers explore the various practices couples can incorporate into their daily lives, and discuss the habits to unlearn insecure attachment. So, tune in this week for an insightful episode teeming with expert advice on attaining a healthy attachment for your relationship!